Finding Balance

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Me: Dress-(Shop Stevie)// Shoes-(Steve Madden)

A: Top-(Shop Stevie)//Pants-(Shop Stevie) // Shoes- (Old Navy)

Zara: Bow-(Nordstrom)// Blanket- (Shop Stevie)// Carseat, Nursing Cover-(Shop Stevie)

Stroller: (Nordstrom)

My sweet Zara is already a week!! She is the sweetest little thing and such a good baby! It’s been such a great week. Lots of high’s and a few low’s but here’s a glance into what our week looked like!

First of all there’s no maternity leave.. Trev and I aren’t good at resting and with being business owners we don’t really have a choice:) When Aniston was born I jumped back into work the day I came home from the hospital. We had swim product that we needed to get up so Trev cracked the whip and got me back to work:) It was a super busy time for us in our business and I remember being so overwhelmed with all there was to do and feeling like I wasn’t able to do everything I needed to. I remember crying while I was nursing and Trev telling me “Steph it’s okay if not everything is done. The most important thing you are doing right now is being a mom. Do that and then just work your way down your to do list, if you get 5 out of the 10 things done it’s okay, you are figuring it all out and doing a good job.” I had to remind myself that a few times this week:)

This week with my girls: Bringing home Zara. What a special moment this always is bringing a new baby home for the first time. We stayed in the hospital for 24hrs and picked up Aniston from my in-law’s in the morning. We were all 4 in the car and I looked in the back seat and started to cry. It was so crazy thinking this is our family now, it’s us 4, FOUR!! Crazy! My main feelings were just feeling so blessed. I missed Aniston a lot while we were in the hospital, I felt like we were cheating on her or something.. silly but true. So I was excited to be out of the hospital and home. Aniston was not jazzed about the whole baby coming home with us. The first hour home she cried while I held her.. it broke my heart to see her so sad and experiencing those emotions. She couldn’t even look at Zara. It’s kinda funny now, Trev and I didn’t think she’d react like that, we should have been more prepared. My life saver has been my Solley Wrap. I feel like I can do all my stuff while still holding my baby and having that bonding time. Most of my bathroom trips I’ve had Zara wrapped around me and Aniston on my lap.. no privacy haha. Aniston has gotten better everyday but has wanted my attention. She wants to be held while I nurse and so there’s been hard moments for her but we’ve been able to find lots of quiet time just her and I to play together. The TV has been on more.. it just is what it is for a few days. Usually I just let Aniston watch one show a day.. that went out the window real fast this week. I think she’s watched at least three. But we’re just figuring it all out! Zara luckily sleeps so well at night and nursing is going better this time than the first so there’s a lot to be grateful for in that area.

This week with work: This is an overwhelming topic for me. My main job in life is being a mom and I have a company that demands a lot of my attention that has to keep going somehow so this is where I’ve had to find a balance and juggle my time the most. I feel like we finally found a good balance with Aniston, (took me a year and a half) and now here’s baby number two and I feel like I’m trying to find that balance all over again. We’ve done a good job so far though and we’re taking it a day at a time instead of deciding a set schedule or routine from the get go. The biggest thing I’m doing work wise right now is the designing of my styles. We get about 18 new styles a week  so you can imagine there’s never time for rest. Trev’s my second opinion on all my styles so I always like to have him around when I’m picking fabric and prints and altering samples and cuts. This week we did our usual thing but from home after we put the girls to bed. (I slowly put on all the samples, I’m still sore so I’m not back to my quick self yet) And made all the alterations we needed to. Spring is my favorite time for designing bc it’s fresh fun colors and summery styles, we were finalizing those this week and I’m super excited with how they turned out so that made for a good week. I went to our usual weds management meeting while Aniston napped, I took Zara with me and by the time I got to my car I was in tears. I was in A LOT of pain weds and started to feel a little overwhelmed, and felt like how am I going to do all this. Luckily Trev caught me in the parking lot and followed me home and gave me a good pep talk:)  Thursday I was going to shoot our new product but I still felt so sore so that got put off until Friday. We are just trying to take it a day at a time.

This week with Trev: I grew up with my mom telling me repeatedly that my husband is my number one. Before my kids, before everything. I don’t know if I’ve been to good at this this week. I’ve done a lot of asking him to grab things and do things and he’s just been amazing catering to me and taking care of all of us while my body has healed. I’ve enjoyed our quiet moments together when our babies are asleep and enjoyed working with him on our work stuff. We of course made time to watch the bachelor and snack in bed and have had our us time to chat and be together so thats good.

My recovery this week: What an amazing thing it is that our bodies bare children. I know not everyone gets to experience that in this life and I’m so grateful I can. I felt really good the first few days, getting a lot of stuff done and moving around but then day 4 and 5 hit.. and I was in a lot of pain. I don’t like needing help with things and I don’t like not getting things done quickly and so when I was really hurting and felt like my body was holding me back I had to remind myself of what a special thing my body just did and that it’s okay to just rest.. so Thursday I rested, moved slow, had a messy house and did all my work stuff that allowed me to sit down. Warm baths have been my best friend.. I take at least three a day. Nursing is going well. That was one of the things I was most excited for, I just think its amazing that our bodies do that and a special way we can bond with our babies.  The beginning of the week my chest was bleeding and in pain.. but it’s gotten better! I should call my lactation specialist.. if she reads this she’ll be mad at me haha. But if you’re a first time mom talk to Lindsey, (find her here) She’s amazing!! And such a great support. My milk came in and holly cow.. I feel like a cow. Lots of milk and lots of sopping wet clothes:)  It’s a good problem to have though.

The high’s of my week: Cuddling my two happy girls on the couch while listening to Trev play the piano. Taking a walk with Aniston while she pushed her baby in her little stroller. Seeing Aniston hold Zara (sister bonding, much needed this week) Seeing Aniston swaddle her panda bear and hold it and rock it. Getting back to work.

The low just so you all know we all have them: Thursday night’s minor melt down.. Trev came home to me on the ground by our bed trying to nurse Zara while Aniston laying next to me screaming crying and wanting me to hold her (i should have just held her but I had held her for the last 40 mins and Zara really needed to eat) and me crying bc Aniston’s crying, the house is a mess, I’m in pain, I took some hard punches to my spirit at work that day and just felt like I was getting beat up in every area that I’ve tried to do my best in. Trev is my saving grace. I don’t know what I’d do without that sweet man.

That’s my week in a nutshell. I hope all the mama’s reading this just know that you are all doing a good job! Everyone’s circumstances and situations are different and we just can’t compare. If you nurse you nurse. If you do formula you do formula. If you have to go back to work you go back to work. If you need a nanny you need a nanny. Who cares what you’re doing as long as you are giving those babies all your love and working hard to give them the best life you can. Do your best and feel good about being the amazing mom you are! We all have highs and lows. Focus on the highs and get out of the lows quick:) Love you all and thanks for all the love and support this week. I’ve gotten some sweet messages and comments and you don’t know how much they mean and how much they keep me strong and motivated!


5 Responses to "Finding Balance"
  1. Alexis says:

    You are doing SUCH a good job! Being a Mom is HARD but so fun & worth it. Don’t forget that you’re the best mom for your kids, the best at running the company you created, and the best at knowing your own limits. Can’t wait to meet Zara soon!

  2. Kenzie says:

    You are a gem! So glad you’re one of my besties.

  3. Jordan says:

    That was so awesome to read! I am low key freaking out (not so low key) over here as the count down begins. With James being in med school full time I am stressed how I am going to take care of two in the first few weeks as we all get used to each other. Thank you for being so open and honest about how you are adjusting it really does mean a lot to know everyone has struggles. I’m glad your little family is doing good!

  4. Ash says:

    Great article. Congrats! What a beautiful baby.

    Just wondering, the dress you linked to you site doesn’t have a pocket. Wondering if this is the same dress? Is there a pocket on the dress if I purchase it?

  5. Jackie Livingston says:

    Oh my word sweet girl take it easy!! I know it’s so hard to rest, but please let yourself rest. Transitioning from one to two is busy busy busy and quite a challenge; don’t worry if it takes time to feel like you’ve got a handle on life. You’re such an awesome mama and business owner. Be gentle with yourself my friend and make sure you stay off your feet as much as possible over the coming weeks. Love to you!!

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